While your expecting, you prepare for sleepless nights, breast feeding basics, safety proofing the house, and all those things that you think must be absolutely perfect. What you don't prepare for is the challenges each child as an individual presents.
I've always been competitive. Always wanting and reaching for more. For ways to make myself better, be better. Always looking for ways to challenge myself. Setting goals. Meeting them and setting new goals.
There is no preparation for understanding how children are so different from you. It's hard to accept those differences. But as a parent, it's my job to recognize that difference and accept who he is becoming. As a parent, I must trust that he will make decisions based on the morals and values we have taught, on life lessons. It's not easier as they get older. If anything, I am always second guessing my decisions and his.
There are no books to prepare you for the heartache of child who feels different. You cannot prepare yourself in creative methods of comfort to meet their individual needs. And they cannot always be rescued or the winner.
I guess I am feeling the growing pains of my boys getting older. I have always wanted them to have their own ideals and opinions, to go their own way, to be individuals. Idealistically, I thought their uniqueness would be like mine. :) And for the most part they are strong and smart. Reliable and independent.
But I have to admit, I miss those little boys who thought I was super mom.
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